My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. — Billy Connolly (via nashyara)
"Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn’t try it on."
I like lesbians, im very fond of lesbians, and their lesbiations. And long may they lesbiate. — Billy Connolly (via sex-me-on-your-interwebz)